Happy Adjusted 1st Birthday

Update: This is what happens most days....I have the best intentions and horrible follow-through. I wrote most of this Feb 3, - Asher's due date and yet, am just now finishing it and getting it published! Better late than never is my unofficial life motto :)

Today was my original due date. Asher was born 50 days early and spent 45 days in the NICU. At this point last year, he had only been home with us 4 days and weighed about 6pds, if he had just been fed! (he had come home for one day a week earlier but then had to go back in the next morning because he started "pooping" blood)

I was at the beginning stages of trusting myself as Asher's mom and learning who he was. Though it felt like I lived at the NICU everyday, I was really only there 7-9hrs a day, maybe 10hrs occasionally. That wasn't even 50% of his day, which left a huge amount of time that others cared for him. And even being there that much, I was under constant supervision with all his nurses and because of all the heart monitor's, O2 tubes, and varying leads, I spent those 45 days never moving more than 18in away from the same spot with him. Bringing him home and having him stay home, was thrilling, but also terrifying. He was almost 2months old and it felt like I was just starting out, like I had adopted him, instead of having given birth to him and feeling like he was "mine" from day 1. Part of that probably also relates to not getting to see him for several days after birth and not being able to hold him for 5 days.

I look at him today in amazement. The only thing that sort of gives away his tough start in life is his small size. He is a joy, always moving, babbles non-stop at home, loves people, has 7 teeth and almost no fear of anything. He is starting to get a spicy side to his personality which is also fun...although it means more "formal" discipline is around the corner :( The Lord has carried us through this year. Though I would never ask to go through what we went through again, it has made each day of being his Mommy a little sweeter and each smile from him a more precious gift.

Below are a couple pictures and a video highlighting just how far he really has come! * Listen to the little squeaks Asher makes on the video. He was such a tiny, quiet squeaker!

This was one of Asher's first shirts that he "fit" when he was almost 3 weeks old. It was huge on him! The shirt behind it, is 9month size, which is the size Asher is currently wearing.

Sort hard to see, but the arms were too long and he definitely didn't fill the shirt out!

The blue pants are 9 month size and they are sort of too long for Asher

He wore these pants for probably 2 months! Poor guy, he had such short little legs!

This outfit he wore at 6+weeks old. Again, the blanket sleeper underneath is only 9month size

This was Asher at almost 7 weeks, right before he finally came home for good.

Asher was 6 weeks and 5 days old in this video. He looks so big in this(to me), yet he was really so tiny! My friend's daughter's baby doll was bigger than him! The oxygen and tubes would be around for another 2+months after going home, but looking back it only seems like it was for a few days.