Lies........

"Lies are a little fortress; inside them you can feel safe and powerful. Through your little fortress of lies you try to run your life and manipulate others. But the fortress needs walls, so you build some. These are the justifications for your lies. You know, like you are doing this to protect someone you love, to keep them from feeling pain. Whatever works, just so you feel okay about the lies." The Shack

I have been trying to discover and break lies in my heart, for more than 1/3 of my life. I started counseling at 18. Since then I have been pursuing wisdom and fellowship with others, having a heart of discernment, truth, freedom and integrity..........

In January, I started meeting with 4 other women to work through the book "Living from the Heart that Jesus Gave You". The book has profoundly effected me and given me much to mediate on over the last few months. In the last chapter we discussed, lies were a major part of it. Having been in counseling and trying to "deal" with my baggage for so long, I had thought I was pretty "free" of lies. Instead, God is showing me deeper ones.....I don't really like the lies I am discovering, but knowing how to see myself and the world around me in a different way is hard to comprehend. Being married doesn't work well when I live in a fortress and build walls around myself, yet every hour I have to fight not staying inside my fortress. Knowing that this side of heaven, I will never be free of the lies I say and believe, I can become deeply discouraged.

My heart still hopes though. It still presses on. It desires to walk more closely with God the Father and to see myself and the world around, the way HE sees it. For that, I thank you Lord! My heart having Hope, is all YOUR doing!